The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
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