Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
