Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
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When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
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whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
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