Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
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