Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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