So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
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