So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Randomize
