My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize