so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Randomize
