Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
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