Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
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so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
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