So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
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