two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
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Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
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And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
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