She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
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