Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
Randomize
