Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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