i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Randomize
