Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
