My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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