wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
