Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
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