im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
