yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
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