she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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