batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Randomize
