hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Randomize
