she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
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