remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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