just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
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Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
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If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
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