So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
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I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
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Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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