i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
I just found puke in my bra..
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
