if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize
