i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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