Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
Best friends brother. Beat that.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Randomize
