I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
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