he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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