My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Randomize
