Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Randomize