So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
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