Where is the hickey?
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
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