If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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