Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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