I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
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You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
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Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
so much tequila, so little girl.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
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