I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize
