Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
