I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Randomize
