smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
