Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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