The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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