Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
