wake up i wanna do it froggy style
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
