Can i not drive my cunt home
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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