the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
