I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
smell my finger.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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