I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
