it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Randomize
