I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Randomize