doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
