so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
