She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
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