I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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