i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Randomize
