yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
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