paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
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