ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
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