dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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