thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
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